I once attended a Reiki energy healing weekend workshop. Like every weekend workshop that I ever attended, I was pretty sure this was going to be “the one.”
When I arrived at the instructor's home, I found her blending a smoothie. Her eyes were closed and she held her whirring Vitamix blender in both hands, like some sort of sacred chalice.
I was informed that she was transmitting pure healing light into the kale shake. It was at this moment that I begun to suspect my spiritual search would not conclude this particular weekend.